Now there’s a question – why do we worry so much about what others think of us? Have you ever really thought about this? Realistically, how logical is it to do so?
If you were to walk into a room of 20 people, they would all have a different perception of you. Which one would you choose to define who you are? Your own, or randomly any one of the 20? And if you did choose one of the 20, would it be a positive one, or a negative one that you’d choose?
Ultimately, would you really give away so much of your personal power as to allow someone else’s perception of you to become more important than your own? After all, they must know you better than you know yourself, right?
Yes, logically it makes no sense whatsoever to spend your life worrying about what others think about you. It’s complete fantasy… and the truth is that most people are not thinking about you anywhere near as much you think they are. They are all too worried about what you may be thinking of them… oh how cruel life can be.
You see the brain makes judgements – it has to, because it responds to stimulation and naturally creates a perception about everything in order to make sense of life. Imagine creating no judgement about whether it’s safe to cross a road or not? Not a good idea, and so just in the same way that you create a judgement about whether you connect with someone or not, they will do the same about you. It’s no big deal, it just is what it is. It only becomes a big deal when you choose to allow another’s perception to define you and ultimately determine your own happiness, present and future.
The judgements you make about another individual define who you are, not who they are. For instance, would you agree that on good days you have nicer things to say about those around you, whilst on bad days you generally have nothing good to say about anyone? Yes, of course, because you see, perception is all in the eyes and heart of the beholder.
So when you put these things together, you begin to see that people judge according to their own soul. So say for instance you’re in a relationship and your partner tells you that you’re worthless? Does this mean that you actually are, or does it mean that their perception of you is simply a reflection of who they are inside?
And yet, imagine instead choosing to believe that you are indeed worthless, and then making your next partner pay for it by having to work twice as hard to make you believe that you’re not. An utterly exhausting game, which may ultimately mean that they’ll choose to leave the relationship, which will… yes, you’ve guessed it… re-inforce your belief that you’re worthless. And the only reason they’ve left, is because you THINK you’re worthless, NOT because you are. And all because someone who does actually feel worthless chose to project their stuff onto you in your last relationship, and you chose to accept it.
And this is how we create our lives. Not a pretty picture, is it?…
But here’s the thing. Would you agree that if you shifted all your self-limitations, and your awareness and understanding of others’ behaviour, whilst connecting with your own strengths and purpose, that you would significantly change your life, relationships and how you show up in the world? Yes, of course you would…
Because the life you create CAN be a very beautiful picture indeed, when you embrace and apply full self-awareness. Everything changes… absolutely everything.
You see, there are always, always going to be people out there who want to judge others. If you want to spend your life trying to be liked by all of them, then you’ll never achieve your dreams, simply because you’ll have no energy or time left to do anything else. You will also probably become a master at acting.
Your job is to let them be who they are, and to get on with being the very best of who you are.
If you would love to learn how to truly apply this understanding and awareness to your life, and to your understanding of others, then please do join us on our courses. This is key to loving yourself and setting yourself free…
We currently run 4 workshops, which at a glance cover the following: -
Please click on the titles for full details and to book.
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway®
Saturday & Sunday 24-25 March 2012 – Two Day Workshop (£197)
Saturday 28 April 2012 – One Day Workshop (£87)
As Susan Jeffers’ first Feel the Fear tutor worldwide, this workshop has developed so much over the 5 years since we first began delivering it. It’s a life changing experience, providing an incredible foundation for successful living with clear tools and insights to help you positively change your perspective on life. We are offering this as a one or two day workshop.
Connect To Your Potential
Saturday & Sunday 19-20 May 2012 – Two Day Workshop (£297)
If you don’t want help with your relationship, but would like The Complete Owner and Operator’s Guide to You, then this is the workshop for you. We will help you understand in depth your own personality style, values, motivations behind your values, needs, skills and talents. We’ll help you identify your life purpose and give you a road map to set you on your way, which includes creating your Visionboard. This workshop brings you face to face with your Enneagram type and ultimately ego type, allowing you to recognise patterns of behavious which hold you back. This ultimately allows you to free yourself from the box and repeating patterns it subconsciously keeps you in.
Relationship Dynamics and Understanding the Male Mind
Saturday 31st March 2012 – One Day Workshop (£87)
Saturday & Sunday 5-6 May 2012 – Two Day Workshop (£197)
Saturday 16 June 2012 – One Day Workshop (£87)
This is a one or two day workshop especially for women, which is about stepping into her radiance, understanding herself, breaking through her barriers and discovering what it means to be her absolute best… AND how to understand and handle men in a way they adore. Please note, this is not about controlling men, it’s quite the opposite – it’s about knowing how to bring out the very best in men, understanding how they think and feel, the differences between the sexes, what men need, and how to communicate brilliantly. This is a great deal of fun, and its essence is about stepping back into what it really means to be a vibrant and beautiful woman.
The Owner and Operator’s Guide to Relationships
Saturday & Sunday 7-8 April 2012 – Two Day Workshop (£297)
For Couples and Singles
This workshop is phenomenal and quite unique when it comes to relationships. It’s designed to help couples and singles understand themselves and each other at a deeper level than ever before; your personality style, values, beliefs, motivations, triggers, needs, the differences between men and women, and how to bring the sensuality back into your lives… and we tie it all together into an Owner and Operator’s Guide for your Unique Relationship. You will discover how to speak with your partner in a way that truly connects you, you’ll understand exactly how to bring out the best in both of you, and also how to avoid those negative trigger points. We offer relationships coaching and breakthrough days, or a two day workshop alongside other singles and couples to cover all the elements of this. Either method will cover the same materials with you. There will be work required from you beforehand, so that we ensure we cater for your individual needs and relationship.
Please click on the workshop titles above to see the content, price, dates and more…
You can also purchase a Package Deal on three of the above workshops to receive a 10% discount on all three.
We can also offer a Coaching Programme or Breakthrough Day to deliver any of the above content on a one to one basis with you. Details are here.
Andy and I are also running a weekend retreat called ‘Create Your Soul-Mate Relationship’ at the stunningly beautiful Brightlife Retreat Centre on the Isle of Man from 20-22 April 2012. Click on the workshop title for full details and to be directed through to Brightlife’s website.
Wishing you very much love,
Di & Andy